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Erika Ettin: Is it luck or work that drives dating success?

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You probably know someone who met a significant other on an online dating site. And you may have been jealous of that person who seems so happy with a Match.com or Bumble boo.

As Guy Raz always asks his entrepreneurs in the podcast “How I Built This,” I’ll ask the same: Was it luck or hard work that led to their happy coupledom? I’d ...Read more

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Is COVID-19 tearing marriages apart?

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Early on in the pandemic, relationship and legal experts predicted divorces nationwide would skyrocket. With shelter-in-place orders, couples would no longer be able to outrun their issues, experts surmised.

Plus, a variety of factors would add to the pressure.

Stuck at home with home-schooling kids.

Stuck at home with college-age kids.

...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Face it. You need to stop covering your face in dating profile photos

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As someone who views hundreds or maybe even thousands of dating profiles per week — yes, seriously — I know a thing or two about a good photo. I know even more about a bad pic... and how one seemingly deceptive photo can turn into a left swipe faster than you can say, “Why doesn’t this person have any photos without their sunglasses on?�...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Therapists need therapy, too (especially in the Zoom era)

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You’d think after doing Zoom and FaceTime sessions all week, I’d run from a group therapy session for therapists. In truth, it took me a little while to get on my first call. But it was great.

It’s taking your own medicine — and it tastes good. This is therapy for the therapist, and we all need it. Did you know that after getting your ...Read more

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Harassment is the status quo on dating sites. This woman is trying to change that

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When Tinder announced in March that they were going to start testing low-cost background checks later this year, "The Daily Show's" Trevor Noah joked: "Before a woman goes on a date with you, she and her friends have already scrolled through your Instagram, and the Instagrams of everyone tagged on your Instagram."

If you've ever used a dating ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: How to improve the world of dating apps

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It’s no secret that men and women are different. I’ve been seeing that difference compounded in my clients when it comes to dating apps, like Tinder and Bumble. Men and women, regardless of orientation, use the apps in a very different manner from each other. Of course, this is a generalization, and there are exceptions to every rule. But I ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Seven reasons to have friends

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These qualities are the ones we all wish for in a true friendship. If you have found someone who brings them to your relationship, I wish you a lifetime of mutual support and great times, because you both deserve it.

Being a good friend is sometimes challenging, but so worth it, because everyone’s needs get met some way and somehow.

...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Work/life balance in the new normal

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Millions of people are now back to work and loving it. Many never stopped and are still working remotely, and others are back at their offices and stores, meeting and serving the public. Even though a number of us are still concerned about the pandemic, we seem to be moving on.

The vaccines helped, and even though only about half of the United ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Going on a date isn't a waste of time

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I browse hundreds of dating profiles every week (no, that’s not an exaggeration), and I tend to see some things over and over again:

“I like to travel and spend time outdoors.” Great, but who doesn’t?

“My friends say I’m charming, intelligent, and fun.” Maybe that’s why you’re friends?

“My mom says I’m handsome.” I ...Read more

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Ghosting -- the silent, unexplained method to ending relationships -- has negative impact on both parties and can stunt emotional growth, study finds

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Dating, always fun at first, often starts with a flurry of romantic text messages, frequent pinging of sweet sentiments, followed by in-person meetings. But more and more, it ends in silence — when one person disappears.

The modern phenomenon known as “ghosting” continues to grow, yet research on this breakup trend and how will it ...Read more

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Can virtual socializing apps outlast the pandemic?

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For its first few years, Teleparty seemed doomed to be a niche product. The browser extension, which lets multiple people sync up their Netflix accounts so they can watch the same thing at the same time, was a hit among couples in long-distance relationships. Otherwise, few people had even heard of it.

And then, in March 2020, the app suddenly ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Dating questions, asked and answered

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In this week’s edition of “Ask Erika,” clients ask dating questions ranging from texting to cynicism to closure.

Q: [He] rescheduled our meet for next Saturday, which is no problem, except that all he does is text. I used a variation of the line you recommended: "Sorry for the delays — I'm not a huge texter.” My question, however, is ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Seven myths about happiness

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Many of us hold false beliefs about happiness. Those beliefs can actually prevent us from feeling good about ourselves and enjoying life.

Here are some of the things we believe and say to ourselves about happiness that can keep us from it.

1. “There’s something wrong with me if I’m not happy all the time.”

No, there is nothing wrong...Read more

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After decades of invisibility, asexuals are speaking up and gaining ground: 'I don't need to be fixed because I'm not broken.'

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

CHICAGO — Looking back, Allison McCorkle can laugh at all the signs she missed: There was that time in sixth grade when the cool boy her friends were swooning over called to ask her out. Not only was McCorkle uninterested, but she was also puzzled as to why anyone would feel otherwise.

“We’re too young to be doing that,” she told her ...Read more

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Marriage madness across America has wedding costs soaring

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NEW YORK — Last week, Kate Zhang snapped up a wedding dress at a bridal store in Manhattan. It was only her second appointment.

Her decision to get married was slightly less hurried. Zhang and her fiancé, Harrison Li, agreed to tie the knot the weekend before. Granted, they had waited more than a year because of the pandemic, but this summer...Read more