Life Advice
/Health
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What do I do if someone basically tells me how to feel?
How many times have you heard something like this?
“I don’t want to waste your time.”
“You’re too good for me.”
“I’m too old/young for you.”
“I’m too short/tall for you.”
“You’ll get annoyed with me trying to keep up.”
Generally, these lines are in response to an initial message on a dating app. For example, a...Read more
Ask Anna: We're in different places in our lives. Can our relationship work?
Dear Anna,
I (31F) called off my engagement about a year ago and moved to a new city. A few months later I matched with a guy (26M) on an app — the second person I dated post-breakup. We hit it off immediately, but I wrote him off as relationship material: He’s five years younger, still finishing grad school, and had never had a serious ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I date outside my 'type'?
For years, I’ve worked with clients who come to me saying the same thing: “I just can’t find the right person.” When I dig a little deeper, a common theme appears — they’re clinging to a very specific idea of who their “type” is. (It often starts with a physical attribute, but it goes beyond that.) Here’s the kicker: That type ...Read more
Let's go girls: Meet-up clubs help women form community in adulthood
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — On a summer Tuesday evening, a group of 18 young women gathered at Alma Wine Bar in downtown Sacramento — most of them complete strangers to one another.
By the end of the evening, fueled by a few glasses of wine and a handful of casual board games, new friendships were forged and potentially long-lasting connections ...Read more
Ask Anna: Am I into him or just into the uncertainty?
Dear Anna,
I’m 44, divorced, and very happily in my “slut era.” I’m dating casually, having fun, and not looking for either one-night stands or The Love of My Life. I’m somewhere in the middle. I want chemistry, good conversation and sex with people I genuinely enjoy spending time with, even if it’s not headed toward forever.
A few...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What if their profile isn't well-written?
There’s nothing like a first impression, and in the online dating world, that means your photo and your bio. Admittedly, the photos are the first thing that most people look at. But for the purposes of this article, let’s focus on the written part of a profile.
Talking about yourself is difficult. It’s a delicate process where you try to ...Read more
Ask Anna: I'm tired of dating. Is something wrong with me?
Dear Anna,
I’m a 36-year-old guy who’s been single for a few years, and lately I’ve started wondering whether I actually like dating anymore — or whether I’m just doing it because it feels like I should and because that’s the dominant narrative, the thing I’ve been told to do. It’s not that I can’t get dates. I go on enough of...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I deal with ghosting?
Ghosting — the abrupt disappearance of someone you were seeing or taking to — is jarring. It often comes out of nowhere, and it forces you to first wonder what happened to the other person before it sinks in that they did this intentionally. In short, ghosting is cowardly, avoiding a short, difficult conversation to spare yourself being ...Read more
Trying to be a better dad? There's a class for that
RALEIGH, N.C. -- Robert Lyles has spent more than two decades raising children, but he says he is still learning what it means to be a father.
“I don’t know everything,” Lyles said.
With eight children ranging from 23 to 1-year-old, Lyles has learned that parenting looks different for every child. He joined Durham’s Nurturing Fathers ...Read more
Minneapolis buckthorn singles club uproots invasives, cultivates love
MINNEAPOLIS -- On a recent Sunday morning, nearly 50 people in long pants and sun hats, some toting loppers, gathered beside the Mississippi River.
It was the second meeting of the Minneapolis Buckthorn Removal Singles Club, a group of mostly 20-and-30-somethings circling up for an icebreaker.
Attendees shared their dating preferences and ...Read more
Ask Anna: My girlfriend wants her first time to be with 'the One' -- I'm terrified I won't be
Dear Anna,
I’ve (19M) been with my girlfriend (18F) for just under four months, and things have gotten serious enough that we’re starting to talk about having sex for the first time. She’s never had sex before, and early in our relationship she told me she’d always imagined sharing that part of herself with only one person. She says if ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What should I ask on a first date?
I have a new client, Sandy. She lives in San Francisco, she’s in her mid-60s, and she hasn’t dated in over 30 years, since before she was with her late husband. Dating has changed a lot since then.
She and I had a few pep talks about first dates — what to wear, where to meet, who should pay, and how to end a date depending on how it goes...Read more
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