Dear Anna,

A few years ago, I fell into an intense long-distance relationship with someone I met through a fandom community. We went from friends to lovers, writing smutty fan fic together and talking every day. They already had a long-term partner, and although they had always considered themselves open, I was the first person they had ...Read more

In any relationship, budding or established, there are two competing philosophies: Take people as they come vs. ask for what you want/need, especially when it comes to certain behaviors. I want to share that these two things can co-exist, and neither has to necessarily take precedence over the other.

Yes, we have to take people as they come, ...Read more

Dear Anna,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about eight months, and in almost every way we’re really well-suited for each other. There’s just one problem. Our sex life is lacking, and I don’t know how to fix it. He finishes very quickly during penetrative sex — usually within a minute or two — and while he almost always makes...Read more

“If you don’t know, ask.”

I find myself giving this advice on an almost daily basis.

I got a text recently from a male client who had met a woman at a party the previous weekend. She promptly found him on Instagram and suggested meeting. (Good for her for taking the initiative! How would you feel about that?) He then asked me if he ...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’m an experienced threesome participant, but I’ve been happily monogamous for years. Recently, my wife and I decided to try having a threesome together because she never really got to have the fun, slutty 20s experience she wanted. (For context, this is a two women, one nonbinary person situation.) Because it was her first time,...Read more

All too often, I get questions like these from clients:

--“What did they mean when they said that?”

--“How can I ask, ‘What are we?’”

--“Why didn’t they text me this morning like usual?”

--“Why don’t we have plans lined up for the weekend already?”

From my 15 years as a dating coach, I can give an educated guess as ...Read more

PHILADELPHIA -- Duwenavue Santé Johnson and Joseph Carrillo first met in San Francisco when they lived a block apart.

But that arrangement didn’t last. They have now been married for 17 years, and have lived 3,000 miles apart for the majority of the time.

Johnson lives in Philadelphia's Old City neighborhood, where she works as a senior ...Read more

It’s unlikely that I’ll take up cattle ranching at this point in my life, so the ability to saddle up a horse and separate a steer from the herd isn’t a must-have skill.

But do I still want to learn how to do that at a visionary event called the Top Hand Cowgirl Challenge?

Oh, heck yes.

What’s drawing me, and the hundreds of other ...Read more

Black and white, right and wrong, cut and dried. I know how tempting it is to look for a “rule” or a quick answer in dating. Leave or stay? Unmatch or meet? But most things in life are not answered so simply. This week, we have several dating questions looking for a back-and-white answer … and I’m here to show the shades of gray.

...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months, and things have been going really well — or at least I thought they were. He’s always been really thoughtful over text, sending me these sweet, articulate messages about how he’s feeling or why he appreciates me. I’m not the most eloquent person, so I’ve always been a ...Read more