ArcaMax

Dear Eric: I am a 64-year-old woman who allowed my daughter (35) and son-in-law (34) to move in about two years ago. They committed to each other in 2022 but didn’t make a legal partnership. They have an open relationship.

He has pretty much always had a girlfriend. When I asked my daughter where her boyfriend was, she said she could have one but just had not met someone yet.

Well, you see where this is going. Now she has a boyfriend and is happy for the first time in a long while.

My daughter now realizes just what she has been missing. My son-in-law feels blindsided, as my daughter is asking for a complete break.

My heart is so broken. This has all been very fast. My son-in-law will be moving to another state to move in with his girlfriend. I would love any advice on how to navigate this.

– Love Them Both

Dear Love: Breakups don’t just impact the separating couple. As you’re experiencing, family members and friends can also find themselves grieving the lost relationship in some ways and having trouble figuring out new norms. This can be especially tough in a situation like yours in which everyone is living together.

As with a breakup, communication and clarity about boundaries are going to be very helpful tools for you. You also have a relationship with your son-in-law and so it’s healthy to have a confirmation about what, if any, contact feels right for him moving forward and what, if any, contact between the two of you feels right to your daughter. It’s also fine to take a moment to tell him that you’ve appreciated the time you’ve spent together and you’re sorry things are turning out this way.

It sounds like you didn’t struggle to respect their choices when they were together, even if they weren’t choices that you would have made for yourself. Approach this situation in the same way. They’re going to need time and space to process this.

Part of your journey with this change will mean taking the time and space you need to process it as well. It won’t be appropriate to try to do that with them too much, but it’s good to acknowledge to yourself that you feel sadness or even grief and wish that things were different.

Dear Eric: My dear friend has been in communication with someone online (and by phone) who claims to be a famous celebrity. She believes this is love and she is convinced this person is for real.

My friend has been in a long-term, live-in relationship with a lovely man. She is preparing to abandon this life for the promise from this online person.

All her friends and family have tried to convince her this is not a real situation and she is being scammed. She has seen a therapist (to no avail) but is still enraptured by this online person. Also, money has been sent to Mr. Fake.

I don't know what else we can do to stop this ruination of her life. She will not only lose love and companionship but the outcome of selling her home. She's waiting for Mr. Fake to send her a plane to pick her up to travel. Just the other day he told her he was ill and had to postpone the trip, still she believes him. Any advice?

– Very Concerned Friend

Dear Friend: Romance scams are so common and so dangerous that the FBI has a page dedicated to them and encourages citizens to report them to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov). So, your first option would be to gather as much information as you have and reach out to an authority for help.

As you know, a celebrity is highly unlikely to communicate with a fan in this way and, even if the celebrity was really reaching out, your friend should confirm, in person and with others, that the celebrity is who they say they are before spending any money or making any big changes. Frankly, any online paramour who asks for money and yet promises a plane should be treated with extreme suspicion.

Because your friend is taking such extreme measures (i.e., selling her house) and has rejected the sensible viewpoints offered by many, including her therapist, appealing to her logic may not be effective. It’s possible that there is something else happening that’s causing her to reject reality. Consider talking to her partner about your concerns. He surely shares them. Ask him about medical intervention or if she has any other troubling behaviors.

Anyone who is being scammed is advised to cut off all contact with the scammer immediately, but short of taking her phone and blocking all means of reaching out to the fake celebrity, that may not be an option right now.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.