Life Advice



Ask Amy: Bossy spouse wants husband thin again

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I admit it, I'm bossy and controlling.

My husband of 30 years naturally pushes back when I pressure him too much, and I try very hard to accept that he's an adult and is entitled to his choices if they don't affect me. It's taken a long time to get there, and reading your column has helped!

But he has put on a lot of weight recently and is now at an unhealthy weight, with a big waistline (not good for a 65-year-old).

I squandered my allotment of unsolicited advice years ago, but now it really matters! I hoped a recent doctor visit would bring about a realization, but evidently she said nothing to him about his weight.

I think doctors are just wary of advising people about weight these days, but he was pretty thin until 20 years ago, and has never paid attention to his weight.

I don't know what to do now.


Any advice on how I can get him to accept that some changes need to be made?

I've had a heart to heart about how I want him around for a long time, but it didn't result in any changes.

– Still Bossy, But Trying

Dear Bossy: According to you, your husband was “pretty thin until 20 years ago.” So his weight gain does not seem to be all that sudden (although he might have reached a new threshold recently).


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