Ask Amy: Employee exclusion makes boss miserable
Dear Amy: I am incredibly hurt by not being invited to either of my two employees’ baby showers. It’s just the three of us in this office. Because of my choice to provide growth and creative opportunities for these employees, as well as flexibility and generous compensation and benefits – my life is pretty miserable.
They are flourishing while I am left with a hugely complicated list of administrative tasks, including being a one-person HR department.
This is in addition to managing the many other responsibilities essential to the existence of the organization.
It is very hard to find someone willing and able to handle these essential but extremely boring tasks, although I keep trying, while I chip away.
We all know a lot about each other’s personal lives, which are entwined in various ways (through relatives and friends), and I care about them very much.
This feels like a personal rejection. Do you think I am overreacting?
– Hurt Boss
Dear Hurt Boss: I don’t think you are overreacting.
After addressing this with these women calmly and honestly, you should also reassess your business model.
You’ve described your own life as “pretty miserable,” while these employees flourish. The experience of small organization proprietors is one of extreme hard work and sacrifice, but you should not place your own needs below that of the people who work for you. Ideally, everyone flourishes, each in their own way.