Ask Amy: Girlfriend’s behavior stalls a proposal
Dear Amy: “Cheryl” and I have been together for three years.
She recently took a trip to her hometown.
While there, she met up with a married friend of hers who has been blatantly inappropriate in the past.
While she was gone, I was busy planning a proposal: Ring shopping, venue, photography, the works.
I clearly expressed my discomfort with this friendship, but Cheryl went ahead and met with him. (She has other male friends I have absolutely no qualms about.) Her lack of boundaries has been an occasional issue, but this time I feel really hurt.
We discussed this with our therapist, who also thought it was NOT OK that she met up with this friend, but Cheryl seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.
She said they met in a restaurant and he tried making a pass at her, but nothing happened. During our therapy session, I pleaded that, if she truly didn’t see a reason to block this person, would she at least do it for me?
She said she’d blocked him, but it turns out she just “hid” his messages.
When I learned she lied, I was crushed! She says the guy doesn’t add any value to her life, but somehow it was too difficult to cut him loose.
I really love her, and we had been in a really good place. But how do we build a marriage without trust?
...continued
