Ask Amy: Boundary-building feels like control
Dear Amy: I’m in my late-20s. I live in my hometown and have stayed close to my parents. I have a job, a car, friends, and share an apartment with a friend.
I have a strong hankering to attend a popular music festival, featuring a group I have followed for years, but have never seen in person.
I’ve floated the idea of doing this with my parents, but they have strong objections. They are worried about a number of factors, mainly concerned with safety (we’ll be camping, along with other festival-goers).
I am a careful person. I’ve never given them a reason to worry – before this.
I’m seeking your advice about what to do and also how to handle this with my parents.
– Fan
Dear Fan: After you book your tickets, plan for your food, and gas up your car, you should tell your parents about your plans and assure them that you will keep in touch with them at least once each day.
They will express their worries and might pressure you not to do this. You should reassure them that you’ll be careful, and ask if you can have dinner with them the night after you return.
That’s it. You’ll have to handle yourself responsibly, and they will, too.
Dear Amy: I liked your response to “Worried Mom,” who worried obsessively about her adult sons.
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