Ask Amy: Spouse sees the worst, waits for better
– Miserable in MO
Dear Miserable: If your husband’s alcohol use is a primary control issue between the two of you, then the only thing I need to spell out for you is: Al-anon. Attending meetings and reading literature regarding the choices you have surrounding your husband’s drinking would help to recast your perspective and alter your behavior (not his).
You two are ships passing in the night during your work weeks – only intersecting for relatively brief times in the evening, when he is engaging in drinking behavior, which you both know is a trigger for you.
I believe the “for better or for worse” part of the marriage vows is not meant to consign spouses for a lifetime in a miserable union where neither party is thriving, happy, healthy, or motivated toward positive change.
What greater good is served by you remaining in a marriage mired in anger and disrespect?
If you can’t live your life like this, then I don’t think you should.
Dear Amy: I've been working in various out-patient physician offices within a medical center for over six years.
When booking a patient's follow-up appointment, I always preface the date and time by saying, "The next available appointment is..." or, " The first available appointment is...".
Invariably the patient's response is, "Nothing sooner?"
I can't tell you how annoying that is. I sometimes snap back by saying, "That's what first available means,” but I try not to do that.
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