Ask Amy: Spouse sees the worst, waits for better
Dear Amy: I am 54 years old and have been married to my (second) husband for 25 years.
My husband drinks at least six or more beers every evening. He gets up by 6 a.m. and goes to work and will work all day without any issues (to my knowledge).
He does, however, start drinking by 4:30 or 5 p.m. and will drink until he goes to bed (between 9 to 10 p.m.).
I have asked him to stop, and he flat-out said no. I asked him to cut back. He did for a while but now is drinking every evening again.
I have an extremely long work commute, so I go to bed early and get up by 4:30 a.m.
We have not been intimate or even cuddled in years. I have told him this bothers me, but he says it’s all my fault. I love him so much and he still gives me butterflies (I’ve told him this).
Nothing – and I mean nothing – has worked.
I can’t imagine my life without him, but I also can’t live my life like this.
Is this selfish? I mean, we did say “for better or for worse.”
I just need someone to spell it out, even if it is not what I want to hear.