ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I'm the youngest of three siblings. My two brothers live a couple of states away from our parents, who are in their 80s. I live the farthest away, on the opposite coast.

At the beginning of the pandemic, like most families, we connected on Zoom. There were tech hurdles for my parents, but they navigated them as best they could.

A couple of times we played games, had virtual parties, or watched funny cartoon clips, but the relatively boring meetings where we exchange small talk seem to be the most popular.

For my rapidly aging parents, I think these one-hour monthly meetings are a lifeline. It's like magic to them to see us all on their laptop.

However, also like most families, the desire to continue this has diminished, especially as people are doing more things in person.

But we still live very far apart, and I'm increasingly frustrated and sad that they're unable or unwilling to show up.

I'm aware that our parents will not be around forever, and I know that they really do enjoy these Zoom calls. Clearly, I do, too!

I've invested a lot in making these events happen. I purchased a paid plan so that we can go as long as needed. I host them at a time that's not ideal for me (three hours ahead) but that seems to work best for the rest of the group, and I send out reminders with links to join and a funny image each month.

I've also made slideshows and custom games for the virtual meetings.

This diminished desire is understandable among my brothers' kids, who are in their late 20s. My son is 12 and I want him to learn that you show up for family. I also want to see my family as much as I can, and for my son to see them as well.

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