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Ask Amy: A widow can’t quite face FaceTime

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

– Tired

Dear Tired: I am assuming that because “Bernie” lives on his own, he likely has photos, objects, and memorabilia from their lives together, honoring her legacy.

The way I read your account, you believe he chose this particular “handle” for his FaceTime calls after you two started seeing one another, but FaceTime handles are often tied to an email account, and if he and his late-wife shared an email account, this handle would automatically turn up on FaceTime.

There are ways to change this. He could unlink FaceTime from his email address and have it only identified by his phone number (go to settings/FaceTime and “uncheck” the box next to the email address).

You are triggered and saddened by this very specific thing. This one thing. You have mentioned this to Bernie, and he remains intractable.

If receiving these FaceTime calls upsets you so much, then you should stop accepting these calls when they come in. Don’t make a big deal about it. Just tell him that you can’t seem to get over this particular hill.

 

Perhaps during one of your weekends at Bernie’s, you two might research other video chatting services to use where this issue wouldn’t surface.

Dear Amy: Many years ago, I left my wife and child. I’m not proud of what I did, but I acknowledge that I basically abandoned them. I did pay child support (most of the time), but I moved to another part of the country and basically started over.

I am a better man now. I have a solid marriage and two children I love and care for.

I have not seen my son from my first marriage since he was 9 years old. He is now in his early-20s and has contacted me. He obviously wants to have a relationship of some kind with me, but I don’t want to have one with him. I don’t think I can continue on the positive path I have in life if I have to go back and pick up the pieces from my previous mistakes.

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