Ask Amy: Wife wants her mom and husband to be friends
Dear Amy: My daughter is getting married this summer.
Her father died in 2009. I met a man a year later, and he passed away in 2021.
My stepson will be giving my daughter away. At the reception I am not comfortable walking in and being announced alone.
Would it be appropriate to have my stepson and my late partner’s son escort me into the reception?
– M
Dear M: The appropriate thing to do is to use whatever configuration works for you and the rest of the wedding party. You being flanked by these two young men sounds like a very nice idea.
And – not to mess with your plans (or conventional tradition) – but I’d put in a vote for you to walk your daughter down the aisle; not to “give her away,” but to accompany her into this next important phase of her life.
Dear Amy: I loved the question (and your answer) from “Older, Wiser, Happier,” the older couple who had just adopted a young child.
I adopted a day-old infant at age 52. My son is now 18.
I have often been faced with the same shock when I inform curious folks that I’m a parent, rather than a grandparent, to my son. (An additional shocker is that I have always been single.)
Your suggested responses to Happier are perfect. More important to me was the letter itself. It gave me comfort, knowing that I’m not the only one who frequently has to explain my relationship to my child.
– Grateful
Dear Grateful: I’ve heard from many older adoptive parents – all wise and happy.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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