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Ask Amy: Requesting a wedding ‘plus one’ is awkward

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Is there a way that a wedding invitation addressed to my wife and me and our 40-year-old single son could be changed to a “plus one” invitation so my son could bring his serious girlfriend of two-plus years to the wedding?

The groom is the eldest son of our closest family friend.

My son will likely not want to travel from one coast to the other for the April wedding without his girlfriend.

Including our son was probably prompted by the groom’s dad, as he has played a role like a godfather to our son.

If my son were to get engaged in the next month or two (the wedding is in 10 weeks from now), does that alter the situation and your reply?

Simply put, is there any situation where an invitee can ask if they can bring their romantic partner?

 

– Determined Dad

Dear Dad: It is appropriate to include a long-term serious romantic partner in a wedding invitation.

However, if this family is as close to your son as you state, then presumably they would know about this almost-fiancé in your son’s life. Furthermore, if your son isn’t invested enough in this wedding to consider going with you (without his girlfriend), then that is another clue that – even if you and the parents are extremely close, he and the marrying couple are not first-tier friends. And it’s their wedding.

You can’t just change a wedding invitation. You can, however, gingerly and respectfully ask if they might have room for a “plus-one.”

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