Life Advice



Ask Amy: Prospective grandmother can’t celebrate baby

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I know I'm old-fashioned, but I still think I'm right!

My son has been dating a young lady for about six months. They live together. She has a 3-year-old child and no relationship with that child’s father.

Now she and my son are expecting a child of their own.

I am not thrilled. He is 29 and she is 24.

They would like me to host a baby shower for them.

I'm sure I will love the baby, but I am not comfortable asking friends and family to celebrate this pregnancy.


I don't want to alienate them, but I really don't want to do this. I did offer to host a wedding for them. I think parents should be married.

– Reluctant Grandma

Dear Reluctant: If you don’t want to host a shower for the baby, then perhaps the child’s mother has someone in her life who will step up.

If you refuse to celebrate this pregnancy, and you won’t ask, expect, or encourage others to celebrate this pregnancy, then – aside from the couple’s marital status – this baby is already starting life disadvantaged.


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