Ask Amy: Step-children offer humiliation as their gift
– Simply Hurt
Dear Hurt: Your husband’s astute observation is that his family is dysfunctional.
I assume you’re thinking: “That’s right, Einstein.”
But an accurate description is not a solution.
Your husband seems to be passively standing by while his children humiliate you – and in your own home.
You also seem to have lost your own voice.
His children obviously want to have a relationship with him, so he should convey to them that he won’t tolerate this rudeness toward you. If he had done this at the outset of your relationship, they might have been retrained by now.
You’ve asked what you should do about their behavior.
You have absolutely nothing to lose, and so you might take advantage of this post-holiday period to email both of them and say, “I’ve been married to your father for 10 years. I had no role in the breakup of your parents’ marriage, which happened before he and I met. I regret that I’ve been tolerating your rudeness toward me for a decade. I’d like to have a positive relationship with you, but at the very least I do expect you to be polite toward me when you’re a guest in our home.”
Dear Amy: My 98-year-old father died recently.
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