Ask Amy: Cohabiting couple should mop up mess
Dear Clean, Please!: The best time to address these living conditions would have been when you two were hot to trot and on your way to having sex in his bachelor pad for the first time.
Here’s the screenplay:
HE: Opens the door to his condo.
YOU: “Nope. Nope, nope, nope.”
HE: “What’s wrong?”
YOU: “I don’t feel comfortable here.”
Given that this didn’t happen, some blunt honesty on your part would have been well-expressed up until the fifth time you decided to have sex in his apartment.
Instead, you’ve chosen to continue to spend your nights there without ever honestly expressing how unacceptable this is (to you), so he has every reason to believe that you’re basically cool with his lifestyle.
And now – you’ve said yes to moving in. Further confirmation for him that you’re probably on the same page.
You should not move in together until you achieve clarity: Whose home will it be? If cohabiting, you should not continue believing that you are a “guest.” And if you have been a guest all this time, take a good look around: This is how he welcomes guests into his home.
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