Ask Amy: Family secrets create a wedge between siblings
However, it’s obvious that they’ve not put much thought or effort into their gifts to us.
Regardless, we always thank them, but they never thank us for the gifts we’ve given them.
We feel disappointed and think we shouldn’t put so much effort into future gifts for them. Are we overthinking this, and their response to us?
– Kinda Hurt
Dear Hurt: If you want to give thoughtful and elaborate gifts, then you should do so only to express your own creative and generous spirit. The fact that these gifts are not reciprocated or appreciated makes you feel unhappy and out of balance, so yes – rachet down your giving and focus on the experiences you share.
It is a beautiful skill to have, but some people just don’t seem to know how to give or receive with generosity and gratitude.
Dear Amy: In a recent column, a stay-at-home dad said that people will refer to him as “Mr. Mom.”
He wonders if it is a put-down.
His wife has no respect for him as a provider and that’s obvious because she is working, and he is 25 and staying home to take care of a child.
This is not the example that he should want his child to see of him and his family.
His role is to be a provider and a protector.
– Upset
Dear Upset: This dad is providing and protecting, and he is doing that by raising his child and taking care of the home.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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