Life Advice



Ask Amy: New dater wants timely, textured texts

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

The lack of conversation really bothers me.

I am never sure if I should give someone the benefit of the doubt.

I am feeling discouraged at this point. Please guide me in the right direction

– Discouraged Dater

Dear Discouraged: By texting consistently before meeting, you believe that you already know how you feel about the person – but many people rely on an in-person spark of attraction before they make up their mind to move forward.

You should not expect ongoing contact with every person you have gone out with. Nor should you instruct them in the necessary ways to communicate with you.


The whole idea is for you to make up your own mind about what you want, and then use your good judgment to gauge the other person’s behavior.

If you take a step back, you will realize that if someone is in frequent contact before a date and infrequent – or no – contact after a date, then this means the guy in question is just not into you.

There could be a hundred different reasons for this.

After going out with someone, if you’ve had a good time, you could text him the next day to say, “I had a nice time last night. It was fun to finally meet you in person.”


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