Life Advice



Ask Amy: Sandwich issue brings Costanza to mind

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm a man in my 50s working in a small office.

My workplace problem is extremely insignificant and frankly embarrassing in the scheme of things. Honestly, it is like something out of a "Seinfeld" episode.

I'm on friendly terms with my co-workers. Occasionally "Donald" goes out at lunchtime and picks up sandwiches for the group. Donald goes around the office and takes the orders. He does this for everyone except me. I've never been included (sniffle, sniffle).

What's worse is that Donald isn't discreet about it. He'll yell from across the room, "Hey, Kim, what kind of cheese do you want?"

Then he'll call the sandwich shop and give long detailed instructions for each sandwich, for everyone to hear: "OK, next is salami on Dutch crunch. Everything on it. No cheese..." He seems to take great pride in his position as master sandwich organizer and orderer.

I don't know what's more upsetting: Not being invited, or the blatant way it's done in front of me. Is it rudeness, meanness, or just insensitivity?


It's actually so ridiculous it's almost funny.

Friends and family suggest I invite myself, but that would make things even more awkward and is not my style at all.

It's fine if he doesn't consider me a friend. I cannot control something like that (although how hard is it to include another order and collect $10?).

Any insight into why this is happening, and how I can stop resenting it?


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