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Man in love is dejected when rejected

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a 36-year-old man in love with an amazing woman.

"Carly" and I have known each other since high school. We have held each other up through the roughest times -- my divorce and depression, and her ill father and abusive ex-boyfriend. She's beautiful, smart, and great with my kids. I could imagine her as the perfect stepmom to them.

A few weeks ago, I took a chance and expressed my feelings. She rejected me, and then acted as if nothing had happened. She continued texting me regularly and tagging me on social media as though she expected nothing to change.

I asked her to stop contacting me, but that made her irrationally angry. She says I'm throwing away a 20-year friendship, but she is the one throwing it away. She says she "misses" her "best friend," but I have plenty of friends. What I need is a romantic partner.

I feel like she is trying to have things both ways, keeping me around as long as it suits her.

I don't want to be that guy who the pretty girl strings along, great for helping her move, but too repulsive to touch.

 

How do I get her to get off the fence, and to either decide that she wants to be with me properly, or to let me go on my way?

-- Love Me or Leave Me

Dear Love Me: "Carly" isn't on the fence. She is not in love with you. She does not want to be your romantic partner, but she does want to be your friend.

You are obviously very upset and disappointed. You have the right to sever this relationship and given your reaction to Carly's overtures, it would be wisest for you to do that. You should delete her contact information, and mute or block her from contacting you.

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