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Wife's assignment gives husband writer's block

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I'm glad he had a great evening, but he could have just as easily said this about walking the dog or going out with his friends. This lack of being able to express feelings for me led to an ugly argument.

I cannot understand. I know that he loves me, but this makes me feel like I'm not the love of his life. I would like an explanation.

I've tried and failed to let this go. How should I deal with this?

-- Seriously Hurting

Dear Hurting: Let me try to describe the dynamic of being a writer and getting an emotionally loaded assignment: Even reading your (reasonable) request for your husband to creatively express his love for you gives me writer-hives.

I suspect that he has creative paralysis brought on by perfectionism, combined with a measure of passive-aggression. He is not going to give you the thing you expressly ask for, as long as you ask for it in such a specific way.

 

Furthermore, when he did try to complete an assignment for you, you didn't like it enough. "Yikes," he thinks. "I'm being edited!"

You and your husband have been together -- mainly happily -- for 30 years. Must he prove his love for you, without using the word "love"?

If you let up on your "asks" -- way, way up -- he might be inspired to surprise you. He might not. Either way, you get to be with a good man, husband, and father who is also a gifted writer with a deep flaw: Words sometimes fail him. I hope you can forgive him for that.

Dear Amy: The other day, I was waiting at the service desk in a store.

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