Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Adult is calling and texting young teen

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Some time ago, I found out that my 20-year-old granddaughter "Sally's" ex-boyfriend, "Jason," is calling and texting Sally's 13-year-old sister late at night.

When I expressed my concern to these girls' mother (my daughter) that a 20-something male was calling and texting a 12-year-old (she has since turned 13), her mother brushed it off, saying that he had always been close to Sally's younger sisters, and anyway -- he lives five hours away.

This has been going on for months now, and I find it inappropriate, no matter how far away he lives.

Jason and Sally dated for about two years, but I don't suppose Jason saw the younger sisters more than half a dozen times in that time. To be fair, anytime I was aware of him, he seemed to be a thoroughly nice young man, but I still feel that there is something off -- or wrong -- about this.

What is your take?

-- Concerned Grandma

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Dear Grandma: Many boyfriends and girlfriends become very close to their partner's siblings, and see them in a very benign "little sister" sort of way. But, other than an occasional, "Hey, kiddo, I heard you scored a goal in soccer -- good for you!" text, I agree with you that a 20-something should not be in frequent contact with an unrelated adolescent through private channels.

Of course, it is possible that the girl is initiating these communications. A parent should definitely take a closer look at this.

If your daughter (the girl's mother) thinks that a distance of five hours is any serious impediment to an improper relationship, then she hasn't seen enough episodes of "Dateline NBC."

The degree to which a predator can successfully reach a target, without anyone knowing about it, is alarming.


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