Mother and child could both use a Head Start
Dear Amy: My 25-year-old granddaughter and her 1-1/2-year-old son have been staying with me for a few weeks while waiting to get into an apartment.
My granddaughter yells at her son a lot, and she uses foul language with him, including the "F word," etc.
Am I overreacting in thinking that this is wrong, and that he'll soon pick up these words?
I don't like the yelling. But I really don't like to hear her swear at him.
She is pretty angry with him at times and he really doesn't mind her very well. She doesn't seem to pay much attention to what I say, either.
Your advice?
-- Old-fashioned Grandma in OR
Dear Old-fashioned: Parents have been tempted to yell and swear at their toddlers since the dawn of time. But thoughtful parents don't do this, because this kind of adult behavior is harmful for children. It is verbal abuse.
Your grandchild is at the dawn of learning language and communication. He is constantly keyed in to his mother, because she is the source of everything in his world.
The reason he doesn't "mind" her is because she is offering him loud, confusing and negative messages. And -- if he is desperate for her attention, he will figure out ways to get it, including being naughty.
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