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Why don't women shave their arms? Amy explains

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

At first she made some payments, but has not done so or made any attempt to discuss it in about eight years.

My husband wants me to say something to her, but at this point I don't even know how to bring up the subject.

I have pretty much accepted that we will not see the return of the money.

Should I say anything and risk losing a friend, or just continue the way we are?

It would be great to have some extra money, but we are OK without it. What do I do? -- Undecided

Dear Undecided: What you don't seem to realize is that this debt has already affected your friendship. The relationship is already at risk. There you are: whispering with your husband about it and strategizing about what to do.

 

Surely your friend feels similar pressure, coming from a different direction.

You (and your husband, if appropriate) should contact her, with your goal being to prompt her to face this realistically and then perhaps put it to bed.

There are ways to repay debts now that weren't as widely used when you first made this loan. If your friend had even $20/week automatically transferred from her account to yours, then she would have repaid $1,040 over the course of a year.

You should suggest this: "We haven't talked about this in a long time, but we'd really like to put this loan to bed, so its not hanging over everyone's head. We can help you set up an automatic payment of a small amount each week. Can you manage that?"

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