ArcaMax

For all the obsessing I've done about my body parts, the one area that has always escaped the harsh glare of my overcritical eye is my feet. Certainly they are not perfect feet, and Manolo Blahnik would never beat down my door to have me model his shoes. But as feet go, they are fairly unassuming; I would even go so far as to say cute. I ...Read more

... continued from above

"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say It's Just That Way"

"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"

"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"

"You Are Different and That's Bad"

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate.

"Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I'll help you overturn the wagon."

"That's very nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to." ...Read more

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal and, as I answered, I was greeted with, "Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam ...Read more

Theorem: All numbers are equal. Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then

a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b

So all numbers are the same, and math is ...

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in ...Read more

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.

When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.

Is your holier side your altar ego?

I need someone to refresh my memory. How many cars...Read more