Even in his present condition (deceased since 1987), Fred Astaire is a better dancer than I am.
In the movies, especially the ones with Ginger Rogers, Fred was the guy who was light on his feet. I am not even in home videos because I would be the guy who is heavy on the feet of my wife, Sue, who dances too gingerly to be in the movies herself. ...Read more
In honor of Mother’s Day we asked some celebrities to share some of the most delightful texts they’ve received from the women who brought them into this world. Here’s Andy Cohen, Ike Barinholtz, Sandra Oh, Kristen Bell, Eric Andre, Rachel Brosnahan, Will Arnett, Luke Bryan, Shaun White, Jimmy O Yang & Josh Gad reading their #MomTexts.
Seth takes a closer look at the January 6 hearings providing a mountain of new evidence revealing that the people involved in Trump's relentless plan to overturn the election all had criminal intent and knew what they were doing was against the law.
Hayden Christensen reminisces on getting cast as Anakin Skywalker before talking about people’s reaction to encountering Darth Vader and reuniting with Ewan McGregor on Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
My teacher reminds me of history
She's always ...Read more
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
Realizing that I'd put on a pound or two, I lamented to my husband, "I'm fat."
And right on cue he said what all good husbands must: "You're not fat."
To support his position, he added, "Just look around you at others, and you will see that you are not fat."
But our daughter, a high schooler, saw through it: "Mom, he's grading you on the ...Read more
Joe sets up his friend Mike on a blind date with a young lady-friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's really unattractive?" says Mike. "I'll be stuck with her all night."
"Don't worry," Joe says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, ...Read more
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only...Read more
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased ...Read more
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social ...Read more
SCOTUS rules to limit EPA's power on regulating greenhouse gas emissions, R. Kelly and Ghislane Maxwell receive prison sentences, LA County makes reparations by returning Bruce’s Beach to rightful owners, and Prince Charles stops accepting cash donations for charities.
Elliot Page talks about starring in the action-packed show The Umbrella Academy, incorporating his journey with transitioning into his character on the show and how embracing joy has made him a better actor.
Rudy Giuliani gets slapped by a Staten Island ShopRite employee and compares it to being “shot,” and former White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson gives a shocking testimony of Trump’s behavior in a surprise January 6th hearing.
Guest host Chelsea Handler talks about her chemistry with Guillermo, new text messages revealing that Melania Trump said no to tweeting about the attacks on Capitol, Clarence Thomas’ wife Virginia Thomas refusing to testify in front of the House Select Committee about her role on January 6th, Andrew Giuliani losing the Republican primary for ...Read more
Seth takes a closer look at former White House official Cassidy Hutchinson's shocking testimony before the January 6 committee, revealing that Trump orchestrated a violent coup and wanted to lead an armed mob to the Capitol to overturn the election.
Sweden and Finland are joining NATO, women are deleting their period tracking apps in response to Roe v. Wade, flights are cancelling at record numbers, and Medieval Times workers are voting to unionize.
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.
His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I ...Read more
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"
"Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal...Read more
A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets his beer and begins to drink it when he notices that the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.
Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.
The ...Read more