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Jurassic Park Auditions - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

Hugh Grant (Alex Moffat), Alan Alda (Bill Hader), Ellen DeGeneres (Kate McKinnon), Wesley Snipes (Chris Redd), Roseanne Barr (Aidy Bryant), Adam Sandler (Pete Davidson), Whoopi Goldberg (Leslie Jones), Pee-wee Herman (Mikey Day) and more audition for Jurassic Park.

Scarlett Johansson Teases Black Widow, Forbids Michael Che to Throw Colin Jost's Bachelor Party

Humor / Jokes /

Scarlett Johansson chats about her Black Widow film finally bringing her closure, spoils Avengers: Endgame and reacts to Michael Che's bachelor party plans for her fiancé, Colin Jost.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Apparently, he just found out G-7 doesn’t mean you get to play seven rounds of golf.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

[As Trump] 'Hey, if I’m going to get impeached anyway, I say it’s bucket-list time. G-7 is at Doral, we’re serving nothing but Trump steaks, it’s B.Y.O. porn star, and folks, don’t forget your pistols, ’cause we’re heading out to Fifth Avenue.'

Stephen ...

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

What business was Washington supposedly running on the side, anyway? [As Trump] 'Many people don’t know this, but George Washington had a business where he gave private boat tours of the Delaware River.'

Seth Meyers

Republicans Run For Cover After Trump's G-7 Doral Announcement

Humor / Jokes /

Colluding with foreign governments to influence an election? No problem. Lining your pockets by hosting a global economic summit at your own resort? That is where the President finally lost the backing of GOP lawmakers who typically defend his actions.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

[Imitating Trump] 'Washington — not everybody knows this — Washington put his picture on every dollar. Can you imagine the royalties? He got a taste of that. Daddy got his beak wet on every dollar. Not much, but it adds up.’

Stephen Colbert

Grouch (Joker Parody) - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

Watch the trailer for the next gritty antihero origin story.

Conan Sends Spock To A "Star Trek" Auction - Conan25: The Remotes

Humor / Jokes /

(Original airdate: 10/12/06) Conan sends Spock across the street to Christie's to bid on "Star Trek" memorabilia.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

This might be the true genius of Donald Trump. Because you realize, with one scandal, you get kicked out of office. But with seven in one day? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Trevor Noah

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Although the G-7 summit happens in June — there’s a good chance he might not be president anymore by then. Wouldn’t that be — [interrupted by applause] By the way, wouldn’t that be — this would be the greatest scenario: Trump has to watch President Pence chatting it up with the world leaders while he guzzles Diet Cokes in the ...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

It really seems like there’s nothing Trump wouldn’t do to profit off the presidency. Like, I bet you he’s going to be outside his own impeachment trial just scalping tickets.

Trevor Noah

Republicans Run For Cover After Trump's G-7 Doral Announcement

Humor / Jokes /

Colluding with foreign governments to influence an election? No problem. Lining your pockets by hosting a global economic summit at your own resort? That is where the President finally lost the backing of GOP lawmakers who typically defend his actions.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

And then, with all this talk of the Bidens inappropriately profiting from public office, the White House today announced that the United States will host the next G-7 summit at the Trump Doral golf resort in Miami. For real. The president is generously renting his golf club out to all the leaders of the world. Because of course he is. He doesn��...Read more

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's ...Read more

Laryngitis

Humor / Jokes /

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

Basic Rules for Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect

Humor / Jokes /

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts...Read more

New Mercedes

Humor / Jokes /

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him ...Read more

Don't Ignore the Kids

Humor / Jokes /

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in ...Read more

Puppy Love

Humor / Jokes /

My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this."

The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter. "Well, what do you recommend?" I ...Read more

 
 

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