Humor

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Entertainment

Dom Deluise's Egg Trick Does Not Go As Planned - Carson Tonight Show

Humor / Jokes /

Dom Deluise's Egg Trick Does Not Go As Planned - Carson Tonight Show - 09/26/1974

Doctor Strange & Graham Norton in the Multiverse of Madness!

Humor / Jokes /

With the release of Doctor Strange & The Multiverse of Madness, let's celebrate with some of the cast's best moments!

Watch It Once TikTok Challenge with Shakira | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy challenges Shakira to take turns perfecting popular TikTok dances after watching them just one time.

This Week in Unnecessary Censorship

Humor / Jokes /

Once again, we've bleeped and blurred all the week's big TV moments whether they need it or not. This week we feature Wolf Blitzer, John Kennedy, Donald Trump and more.

The Right's Embrace of Racist Replacement Theory Is Both Dangerous and Dumb: A Closer Look

Humor / Jokes /

Seth takes a closer look at prominent members of the right embracing and parroting the dangerous white nationalist conspiracy theory known as “the great replacement,” which, in addition to being deeply racist, bigoted and dehumanizing, is incredibly stupid.

Fox News & GOP Pushed Replacement Theory | Baby Formula Shortage Reaches Crisis Level

Humor / Jokes /

The hateful, racist theory that inspired a teenager to commit mass murder in Buffalo, NY is a popular talking point among Republican politicians and the host of "Tucker Carlson Tonight." Elsewhere in America, parents are desperately searching for supplies of baby formula as the nationwide shortage becomes a full-blown crisis

No Tail Light

Humor / Jokes /

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

"Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious."

"...Read more

Work Equations

Humor / Jokes /

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

New Chemical Element Discovered

Humor / Jokes /

The element, tentatively, named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange ...Read more

Lemons

Humor / Jokes /

A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. "Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?" he asked.

"Well, I think I do." she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

Blonde Riding a Horse

Humor / Jokes /

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem ...Read more

For The Kids...

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Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always ...Read more

Laryngitis

Humor / Jokes /

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

The Presbyope

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Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Con- ...Read more

Visiting the Zoo

Humor / Jokes /

Three mischievous boys skipped school one day and instead went to the zoo one day for an outing.

They decided to visit the elephant cage first, but soon enough, they were picked up by a zoo security officer for causing a commotion.

The officer hauled them off to the Security Office for questioning.

The supervisor in charge asked each of ...Read more

A Noise...

Humor / Jokes /

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.

She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."

"That...Read more

Funny One Liners

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Reginald Knowles, Britain's worst goalkeeper, failed to end his life today. He threw himself in front of a bus and missed.

What do you get if you cross a kangeroo and a sheep? A wooly jumper.

What do you get if you cross a waitress with a chicken? A hen that lays tables.

The landlady asked me if I minded making my own bed. I said I didn't ...Read more

Quick Quotes

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"Just when you thought things couldn't get uglier at the White House...yesterday, Prince Charles and Camilla showed up. Prince Charles said today that he wants sit down with President Bush and negotiate a settlement where we take back Madonna." --Jay Leno

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"The New York City Marathon is coming up. It's not the hardest marathon. I ...Read more

Classic Carnac Appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

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Classic Carnac Appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 01/06/1982

Hayley Atwell Shows Off Hilarious Little Voice | The Jonathan Ross Show

Humor / Jokes /

Marvel’s ‘Agent Carter’ Star Hayley Atwell recalls an awkward end to her teens when her dad insisted on taking her to a Native American sweat lodge.

 

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Rick McKee Drew Sheneman Hagar the Horrible Bart van Leeuwen David Fitzsimmons Chris Britt