Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.

The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.

She read books about how safe it was and listened ...Read more

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because ...Read more

The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of ...Read more

How many Zen Budhists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the lightbulb, one not to change the lightbulb.

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot ...Read more

My mother taught me esp – put your sweater on; don’t you think i know when you are cold?

My mother taught me humor – when that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.

My mother taught me how to become an adult – if you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.

My mother taught me about my roots – shut ...Read more

The Secret Service just sent out a memo reminding the president's security detail that they shall not take drugs, get drunk on duty, or hire hookers.If the agents have to engage in such misbehavior, they shouldn't be in the Secret Service. They should be members of the presidential cabinet instead.

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place.

They put up a big bold sign which read:

"WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

"WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS"

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

- If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!

- To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

- If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".

- Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

- To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

- To improve your appearance, ...Read more

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.

The man said that he actually felt worse. "Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?" the Doc ...Read more