Humor

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Entertainment

James Corden Played Hide & Seek With Ed Miliband | The Jonathan Ross Show

Humor / Jokes /

James Corden remembers a time when he suddenly meets Ed Miliband whilst playing Hide & Seek.

Diane Morgan Stockpiled 500 Adult Nappies | The Graham Norton Show

Humor / Jokes /

Diane Morgan on why she ordered SO MANY adult nappies.

Junk in My Frunk - in Partnership with Ford | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy performs "Junk in My Frunk," a song about the @Ford electric #F150Lightning and its front trunk (frunk).

Tom Cruise Terrifies James in 'Top Gun' Fighter Jet!

Humor / Jokes /

"Top Gun: Maverick" star Tom Cruise picks up James for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the desert where Tom pilots James in a vintage fighter plane for the afternoon. And just when James thinks he's survived, Tom informs him the two will be going up again — this time in a jet fit for modern aerial warfare. There isn't much doubt Maverick will ...Read more

Jan. 6 Panel Grills Giuliani for Nine Hours; Kellyanne Conway's New Book: A Closer Look

Humor / Jokes /

Seth takes a closer look at another former Trump adviser coming out with a self-serving book about their time in the White House and the January 6 investigation committee interviewing Trump's former attorney for over nine hours.

T**** And Pence Wage Proxy War In GA | Elon Musk Jokes About Sexual Misconduct Allegation

Humor / Jokes /

The former president and VP are engaged in a high-profile battle over the Georgia gubernatorial race in what many see as a prelude to the 2024 presidential primary, and the world's richest man took to Twitter to make light of allegations that he acted inappropriately towards a woman on his private plane.

Computer Programming

Humor / Jokes /

More and more computer science majors at U.S. colleges are opting not to take programming jobs after they graduate.

Not because they don't want to work in the computer industry, it's just that they want to spend a few more years in America before having to move to India.

The Army

Humor / Jokes /

A man was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.

He grabbed the man by the hand and pulled him aside.

The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

The man replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

Pastor questioned, "How come I ...Read more

Science

Humor / Jokes /

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.

If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance about 35 feet from the earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs - the tallest ones, anyway.

Flight Time

Humor / Jokes /

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Wisdom, from Seniors...

Humor / Jokes /

-- The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

-- The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

-- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

-- Amazing! You hang something in your ...Read more

Bottom of the Charts: Jabba the Hutt's Cover of "Lady Marmalade" | The Tonight Show

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy spotlights three singles at the top of the music charts, then listens to tracks rounding out the bottom, including a cover of Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" by Bob Dylan.

Stephen Fry Caught Sir Ian McKellen Stealing From Set | The Jonathan Ross Show

Humor / Jokes /

When Sir Ian McKellen filled his kitchen drawer with gold coins!

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always ...Read more

Laryngitis

Humor / Jokes /

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

Mutual Attraction

Humor / Jokes /

In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!"

The wife responded calmly, "Allow me to explain...the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

First Ham

Humor / Jokes /

A young couple got married. When the wife prepared to bake a ham to celebrate their first Thanksgiving, she carefully cut off each end before placing it in the pan.

Her husband asked her why she did that and she replied, "I don't know - it's what my mother always did. But I can ask her."

She called Mom, who responded, "I always saw your ...Read more

Get Better Soon

Humor / Jokes /

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better,...Read more

Express Lane

Humor / Jokes /

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

Airborne

Humor / Jokes /

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

"Well," he said, "it's three weeks long."

"What else," I asked.

"The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."

"And the third week?" I asked.

"The third ...Read more

 

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Doonesbury David Horsey Spectickles Barney Google And Snuffy Smith John Cole Bill Day