Batman likes to punch bad guys, so we sang a song about it.
What is it with the robes? First Cosby, then Weinstein, now Charlie Rose. Who’s next, Yoda? ‘Hmm, tense you seem. Shoulders I will rub. Reported to H.R. I am.’
Starbucks recently released a limited edition juniper latte. Juniper, or as Betsy Devos calls it, the biggest planet.
There was some big news out of Washington yesterday. It was announced that the Donald J. Trump Foundation, the Trump family's charity, is shutting down. He's shutting down his charity right before Christmas. If Trump wasn't going to be visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve before, he definitely is now.
Seth takes a closer look at how President Trump's aides are growing increasingly anxious about special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation into the Trump team's ties to Russia.
CBS just fired Charlie Rose after allegations of sexual harassment. Yeah, they told him to clear out his desk, put on his pants and leave.
Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago.
The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached for an hour and a half.
I asked him about this. He then told me "well, John, that first Sunday, my gums were so...Read more
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."
Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.
Bills for $200.00 kept...Read more
One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. "Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!'
"Why not" said the officer.
"Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same."
"But you did not stop" replied the officer, "...Read more
Dwayne the bathtub -- I'm dwowning!
Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.
She ...Read more
Simon's Cat sneakily ham-pers Simon's attempts to make a ham sandwich.
Here at Illogical Conclusion, we dive right past plot twists and turns and player piano Radiohead covers, and get right to the heart of what everyone wants to know about Westword: how do those bullets kill the hosts, but not the human guests? Like, on a scientific, microscopic, level?
Trump also took a shot at Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake. Flake was caught on camera dissing his own party, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” Sen. Flake, that’s a little too hard on toast.
Charles Manson passed away last night at the age of 83, leaving Trump scrambling to nominate a new head of his mental health task force.
Infighting continues within the Republican Party. On Saturday, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake was caught on mic when he made a remark, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” If? If you become the party of Donald Trump? He’s the president of the United States! That’s like the Catholic Church going, “Why ...Read more
Thanksgiving is a time of the year for family. So the President is tweet-attacking one.
Tomorrow, President Trump will pardon a turkey at the White House. Then he’ll spend the next week criticizing it for not thanking him enough.
Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.
They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.
The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.
Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.
"I operated on Mr. Lee the other day," said the surgeon.
"What for?" asked his colleague.
"What did he have?"
"Oh... About $17,000."