Jimmy reads his favorite tweets with the hashtag
'Child's Play' star Aubrey Plaza shows exactly why she should be cast as the next Catwoman.
Trump’s got to be relieved that Hicks had his back today, because reports are, even though they worked closely together, they’ve drifted apart since she left the White House, and that recently, there were several times when she didn’t return Trump’s call, leading the president to ask his inner circle, ‘What happened to Hope?’ Sir, we...Read more
Hope declined to answer questions about her work on the Trump presidential transition or in the White House, refusing to even identify the location of her West Wing office. That must have been a weird moment. ‘Ms. Hicks, here is a map of the West Wing. Can you at least point to where you worked? Was it closer to Stephen Miller’s terrarium or...Read more
Unfortunately, this is a probe into Trump’s possible obstruction of justice, so for once in your shampoo commercial of a life, answer somebody’s questions.
James Corden takes his theater company across The English Channel to Paris for a very special edition of Crosswalk the Musical. James and the gang grab their flags for a performance of Les Misérables set in an actual crosswalk with the iconic Arc de Triomphe as their backdrop.
(Hope Hicks) angered Democrats by refusing to answer questions related to the White House today, but it didn’t really matter what she said or didn’t say. The important thing is, walking in, she looked great.
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
My teacher reminds me of history
She's ...Read more
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
The owl and the pussycat went to sea,
but the end of our story's quite sad.
The owl pushed the pussycat over the edge
`cos her gameboy was driving him mad.
Doctor: "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking."
Patient: "I'll come back when you're sober then!"
Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: "I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal."
"Well" replied the other farmer "I'm not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you'd give me one?"
"Of course" says the first.
The second farmer continued: "and of you had two cars, ...Read more
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over.
The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you ...Read more
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends.
A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve ...Read more
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
"Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man ...Read more
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to ...Read more
Your dog's barking at the back door. Your spouse's barking at the front. Who do you let in?
Well, it's your call, but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels!
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to ...Read more
A mother, visiting a department store, took her son to the toy department. Spying a gigantic rocking horse the boy climbed up on it and rocked back and forth for almost an hour.
"Come on, Son," the mother pleaded. "I have to get home to get father's dinner."
The little lad refused to budge, and all her efforts were unavailing. The department ...Read more