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Q: What do we say to our kids when Grandpa and Grandma play favorites? My parents are clearly partial to my daughter -- their first grandchild -- over her little brother. He obviously notices but doesn't say much. Help?!?

Jim: I'd say that your top priority is to affirm your son (the youngest child). Reassure him that you've seen the signs of favoritism as well, and that it's not a reflection of his worth or identity. Don't blame the grandparents -- but assure your son that you're working on it.

In the best case, the issue can be addressed through a good-natured, non-defensive discussion with your parents. Start by emphasizing how much you appreciate their interest and involvement. Highlight positive contributions they've made to the children's upbringing. Once you've set the right tone, respectfully explain your concerns. Communicate that while you're certain they've always acted from the best of intentions, some of their actions and words have unfortunately been hurtful to your younger child. Ask them to help you find a way to counteract this (hopefully) unintended effect.

If your folks deny the favoritism, just thank them for listening and let the matter drop. Perhaps after some sober reflection, they'll recognize the sense of your words and quietly make necessary changes.

However -- if they react in anger, there may be deeper boundary issues below the surface. In that case, you'd be advised to further discuss the problem with them in the presence of an objective third party -- a good friend, a disinterested relative, a pastor or even a qualified family therapist.

Finally, in extreme cases where grandparents refuse to cooperate, it could be necessary to limit the amount of time they spend with your children -- at least until they begin to take some positive steps in the right direction.

If you'd like to discuss this situation with our counselors, call 855-771-HELP (4357).

Q: As much as I love my husband, sometimes I get frustrated and upset with him. I feel like I need to express my feelings to someone who cares and understands -- like my close female friends. A lot of my communication with them is through social media. Is it OK to use those channels to process this stuff?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: There's generally a place for venting (aka processing) in most relationships. But that place is definitely NOT any form of social media. If you openly air your dirty laundry, you'll only hurt your marriage and undermine any sense of trust between you and your spouse.

Venting should only be done in a VERY private setting. The purpose is to set your feelings out for assessment so that you can view them more impersonally and evaluate them. This is an important part of the process of communicating with loved ones, setting and re-adjusting goals, and making necessary changes. Remember, marital frustrations are something you should discuss first and foremost with your spouse, versus a circle of friends and acquaintances.

On the other hand, interactions via social media are either public to start with or can easily become so. Any type of social media message has the potential to reach a much wider audience than you may have intended ... and in a very short time. Once you've expressed something digitally, you have no way of controlling where it might be shared or mentioned by even well-meaning friends. A good rule of thumb is, "Don't put anything on social media that you wouldn't want to see publicly published."

So, if you need to vent, I strongly recommend that you at least keep it offline. And if you need help dealing with marital concerns, don't hesitate to contact our Counseling department at 855-771-HELP (4357).

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.