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Q: My fiance and I are excitedly looking forward to getting married. But we've run into some disagreements regarding money. Should we have joint or separate bank accounts after we're married?

Jim: This is a common question -- and you'll hear various opinions. In my mind, a "yours and mine" mentality isn't conducive to a happy, healthy marriage. A husband and wife are not two people who happen to sleep in the same bed but lead separate and independent lives. Marriage is best and most fulfilling when you are both all-in and cast your lot together -- for better or worse. Sharing your financial assets is an important part of sharing life as a whole. And this includes the establishment of joint accounts.

Now, there may be some circumstances where separate accounts for separate things might be useful -- for example, a personal business venture. But generally, it's best to approach your finances -- and everything else in life -- as a unified team. If you're both working, you can put all of your earnings into one account and then agree that you'll each receive an equal share of monthly "allowance." That's the simplest way to keep yourselves accountable to one another.

If either of you are uneasy with this arrangement, you need to determine why. If two people don't feel they can trust or ought to be accountable to one another, they would be well-advised to reevaluate their marriage plans. That's one reason why pre-marital counseling is so vitally important -- it enables you to gain clarity on such issues before you tie the knot. The bottom line is that a thriving relationship is built on trust, shared goals, and transparent communication.

We have plenty of resources to help, including pre-marital assessment tools, at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: We try to encourage our kids to set goals and work toward them. But for some reason our whole family just feels stuck right now. Do have any suggestions that can help us get unstuck?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Every living thing in the universe (including your family) is moving in some way and has momentum. The question is whether that momentum is positive or negative.

Positive momentum builds relational stability and health, while negative momentum moves toward dysfunction and dissatisfaction. A family's negative momentum can be tough to change, especially when working against unhealthy patterns and habits. But here's the good news: Every day is a new opportunity to move toward the positive.

Take stock of your situation. Are you overwhelmed and exhausted? Have you yielded on some important boundaries for your children? Have circumstances intensified momentum in the wrong direction? Consider these ideas for shifting momentum in your home:

-- Look in the mirror. It's easy to blame others and circumstances for our difficulties, but we can change this by redirecting our own thoughts and actions.

-- If you're married, love your spouse. The relationship between a husband and wife is foundational to the home. When that relationship is going well, it's more likely that parents will have the mental and emotional energy to love and guide their children.

-- Smile. Even if things aren't going well, smiling can help loosen up your mind toward possibilities rather than getting stuck on limitations. Experiment with the ripple effect of a genuine smile on your family.

-- Make time to talk. Conversation that is loving, warm and understanding can create positive momentum regardless of your circumstances. Use life-giving words that bring truth, encouragement and, when needed, loving correction.

-- Carve out time together. Play board games, exercise together, take walks or cook as a family. The key is doing things together.

For more tips and tools, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.