Husband Wants To Support Wife
Q: I've been thinking a lot recently about what my wife does as a stay-at-home mom caring for two little kids. I know I'm prone to taking her for granted. I have to work full-time, but how can I help shoulder the load?
Jim: I'll never forget when my two now-adult sons were small. One evening when I got home from work, my frazzled wife, Jean, met me at the door saying: "OK, now it's YOUR turn with them!"
First, when you come home after a long and tiring day, remember that your wife's day was equally -- probably more -- exhausting. She needs two things at this point: 1) adult conversation, including true appreciation for what she's been doing; and 2) your willingness to pitch in and help with the kids, the dishes and whatever else.
Second, don't expect to be cared for like another child. Pick up your own clothes and toys.
Third, don't expect much physical response if/when your wife is exhausted, especially if you haven't done much to help. As my friend Dr. Kevin Leman says, "Sex begins in the kitchen" -- with compliments, meaningful conversation and acts of kindness.
Fourth, be involved in the process of preparing your children for bed. This provides a breather for your wife and also gives you quality time with your little ones.
Fifth, maintain a regular date night -- a restaurant, a concert, a walk or whatever your imagination and budget can manage.
Sixth, if your hours at work tend to be long, make real effort to cut back. Don't fall for the wrong-headed idea that your career is more fulfilling than your life at home.
Finally, try to escape for a romantic weekend periodically and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. With planning and creativity, this doesn't have to be expensive.
Q: Our middle-school-aged son has developed a swearing habit. We have confronted him about this several times, but the problem only gets worse. What can we do?
Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Presuming that you or your spouse don't swear at home yourselves, there are any number of places where your son could have picked up this bad habit. Outside the home, the most common influencers are entertainment media and peers at school. You can't shield him from every negative influence, but it's important to regulate his media habits and delve deeply into his social interactions.
In a situation like this, your goals are to understand, respond and guide.
-- Understand. Rather than just confronting him, ask questions to get a sense of why he's choosing to swear. To sound or look cool? To assert his independence from your family's values? An expression of anger? A reaction to feelings of rejection? Perhaps a desire for power and control?
-- Respond. Take time to discuss how his motivations intersect with the values in your home. Talk about the importance of self-control in our speech. Words are powerful and can bring life to relationships -- or destruction. Words also reveal much about what's going on in a person's mind. Be patient and compassionate as you respond to your child's internal world that may be surfacing through inappropriate language.
-- Guide. Discuss other words that can be used in place of the language he's choosing. Set goals and establish clear rules and consequences relating to continued use of swear words. Learning to control his tongue is an element of learning to be life-giving toward others, versus being self-focused or offensive.
Finally, take time to celebrate positive steps as he works toward breaking a very difficult habit. Don't forget that you're working to establish relationship, growth and freedom -- not to make your child happy. For more practical tips and resources, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.
========
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.








Comments