ArcaMax

Q: My mother is developing Alzheimer's disease. She's always been a sweet, caring and soft-spoken woman -- but she's becoming increasingly demanding and disagreeable. I know I'm supposed to honor my parent, and I really try. But what does "honor" mean in this situation?

Jim: My heart goes out to you. Caring for an aging loved one involves grace and sacrifice, particularly in scenarios like the one you're describing.

First, let's define "honor." Honor implies choosing to give great respect and care to someone -- not grudgingly but built on a foundation of love and genuine concern for their needs and best interests. True honor is placing the highest value on our loved ones regardless of whether they "deserve" it or not.

Once this choice is made, the key issue is discerning how to carry it out. Note that the biblical commandment to "Honor your father and mother" doesn't mention specifics. There's nothing about pensions, nursing homes or Medicare. It doesn't necessarily obligate you to take an aging parent into your home.

Instead, the art of honoring a challenging elder is based on intuitive knowledge. That knowledge, in turn, is rooted in your love for and commitment to your mother. Out of that commitment -- and your day-to-day interactions with her -- you'll develop an awareness of practical ways you can serve her and care for her immediate needs. This might mean sharing your home and offering financial support. It will likely involve seeking support services, filling out endless health insurance forms, providing transportation and communicating with doctors.

Always remember that it's never too late -- or too soon -- to love and honor your elders. As you humbly seek to honor your mother, your love for her will grow and your relationship with her will be enriched, even as her health may decline.

Q: I'm very concerned about my preteen daughter's self-image. So many girls in her peer group are obsessed with being thin and wearing the right clothes. I don't want her to get caught in that trap; what can I do?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: It's a sad irony that many websites and magazines aimed at girls often reinforce the flawed message that women must be physically beautiful to have worth. As a parent, you're positioned to counter these damaging messages and the confusion they create in a young woman's mind. It's about finding a healthy balance between affirming your daughter's physical appearance and nurturing her character.

Here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you walk with your girl through this very real cultural minefield:

-- Compassionately listen to your daughter's anxieties and frustrations related to these pressures.

-- Girls naturally want to be told they're pretty. Acknowledge that without conveying that her worth is strictly based on her appearance.

-- Emphasize virtue and character over appearance. Strongly commend her whenever she is kind, truthful, empathetic, trustworthy, helpful and humble.

-- Praise her for her accomplishments in areas involving her mind -- ideas and opinions as well as science, math, art, reading, music and other "cerebral" disciplines.

-- Seek out female role models who exhibit strong character and creativity.

-- Help your daughter understand that most published images of models, celebrities and influencers are digitally manipulated. To be direct: Social media usually isn't reality.

-- Help her discover and develop her own fashion style that blends modesty with personality.

-- Spend consistent time with your daughter to foster relationship and open, ongoing communication. Parents have more influence on their preteen's development, perceptions, and beliefs than you might think.

With a little guidance and a lot of love, we can defuse our culture's negative messages about femininity and help our daughters develop a truly healthy self-image. For more practical tips, see FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting.

========

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.