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Q: I'm (clumsily) adjusting to being a now-single mom. I feel inadequate and I'm really worried about raising my 8-year-old son on my own. Do you have any advice?

Jim: Parenting solo is tough. Raising a boy can present some unique challenges for a single mother, so I want to encourage you: You CAN do this!

One of the most important things to do ASAP is to surround yourself with a supportive community. That could be family, close friends ... even people you know from church or work. The main thing is that you'll need others who will come alongside you when the going gets tough.

Not only do you need support -- so does your son. Every growing boy needs positive male role models in his life. I know you're working hard to be your son's source of strength. But he needs to connect with men who can set good examples of what it means to be a man. Speaking personally, as an orphan myself, I was profoundly influenced by an amazing football coach who invested himself in all areas of my life. Look for trustworthy men who might do that for your son (a good church is a great place to start).

I also recommend you take advantage of resources that are available to help you navigate single parenting. You and your son are both in store for a lot of changes as he matures and develops. We can help; see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Let me emphasize: I applaud your commitment to your son. Being a single mom is often a thankless job. But with the right support and influence, I believe all of your dedication and hard work can eventually pay off.

Q: To be blunt: my marriage is struggling. I'm not sure how we got to this point, but it seems like we spend most of our time fighting over who did what. How can we recapture the good relationship that we used to have?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: In many cases, marriages in crisis share a common theme: At least one member of the couple has a tendency to blame their own poor behavior on their spouse. In other words, a husband blames his wife for his affair; a wife blames her husband for her unhappiness. Or (more often) they blame one another for angry outbursts, critical attitudes, pornography or alcohol addictions -- the list goes on and on.

This all keeps the relationship stuck in conflict and at high risk for divorce. That's because casting blame is all about avoiding responsibility. It seeks to place the burden of change on the other person. That attitude prevents couples from getting to the true source of their issues and resolving them.

There's really only one way to get out of this pattern. Each individual has to recognize and own up to their own responsibility. After all, the only person you can change is yourself.

Now, I get it. Your spouse may (perhaps inadvertently) get under your skin at times. They might even be guilty of unhealthy and harmful behaviors. Nonetheless, how you respond is up to you. You can choose to meet your spouse's poor choices with a healthy response of your own.

That takes humility. In some cases, it might require "tough love" -- perhaps even separating temporarily to work out your respective issues. But when husband and wife each acknowledge their own shortcomings and refuse to shift blame, even the most difficult conflict has a solid chance of getting resolved.

Our staff counselors can help; call 855-771-4357 to get started. For relationships already at or near a breaking point, see HopeRestored.FocusOnTheFamily.com.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.