Mom Wants To Support Daughter Unable To Get Pregnant
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has been having trouble getting pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for two years now. They have been to many doctors with no luck. I feel so bad that she is struggling, especially because both of her sisters have been able to have children. I can see how much she wants to be a mother, and it hurts me that something so meaningful to her isnÕt coming easily. She tries to stay positive, but I know this has taken an emotional toll on her; sometimes I donÕt know the right thing to say or do to support her.
As her mother, I feel a bit helpless. I want to comfort my daughter without overstepping or making her feel worse. I also worry about the comparisons she might be making between herself and her sisters, even though I remind her that everyoneÕs journey is different. Family gatherings have become more complicated, and I can sense the quiet sadness she carries, even when she tries to hide it. Should I bring it up and check in often or give her space and let her come to me? Also, how can I help her feel less alone during this time? -- Inconceivable
DEAR INCONCEIVABLE: The best thing you can do is to be present for your daughter without asking questions. Just love her. Bringing up the obvious will not be helpful. You can invite her to do things with you independent of the rest of the family. Since you do have grandkids, you may not realize how much time they take in your life. Carve out time just for your daughter, too.
DEAR HARRIETTE: IÕve been out on two dates with this guy I met on a dating app. He started off spending all this money on me and taking me out on a lavish date. On our second date, he asked for me to pay for something. There wasnÕt any conversation leading up to it, and it made me question whether his initial effort was genuine or if he was just trying to make a certain impression at first.
Culturally, I felt disrespected because where I come from, the expectation, especially early on, is that a man takes the lead in paying as a way of showing interest and respect. I donÕt necessarily expect that forever, but in the beginning stages, it means something to me, and his actions made me feel uncomfortable and unsure of how to interpret his intentions. He is a little bit older than me and in a better place financially, so this is also why this situation has upset me. Now IÕm stuck wondering if IÕm overreacting or if this is a valid concern. I donÕt want to come across as entitled, but I also donÕt want to ignore something that didnÕt sit right with me. Should I confront him or leave him before I get emotionally attached? -- Values
DEAR VALUES: Who pays for what is an ongoing debate in dating, especially now that people are meeting online. You have your cultural values around this, so you should talk about it. If you like this guy, say as much, and tell him you were surprised he asked you to pay for something so early on. Tell him how you grew up and your expectations in dating. Ask him to share his. This could lead to an open, substantive conversation -- or it could shut the door. Either should be OK as you will see more of who he is.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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