Classmate Creates One-Sided Rivalry
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm struggling with this weird competitive energy between me and one of my classmates. On the surface, we're friendly -- we study together, share notes, even joke about motivating each other. But lately, it feels like our "friendly competition" is not so friendly anymore. If I do well on an assignment, they make little comments about me being a showoff. If they do well, they rub it in like it's a victory over me. It's starting to make me dread group work and second-guess sharing anything.
I like this person and don't want drama, but I'm tired of feeling like we're in some secret rivalry I never signed up for. How can I keep things positive without letting their competitive streak mess with my peace? -- Win or Lose
DEAR WIN OR LOSE: Is it possible for you to change groups so that the two of you do not have to work together directly anymore? Speak to your instructor and find out if that's an option.
You can also stop sharing with this person at all. If needed, you can say that you don't find it fun anymore to spar with them, so you are choosing not to engage. If you don't react, eventually they may stop because this type of interaction only works best when there's somebody willing to play along.
If you are willing to have a serious conversation about the matter, sit down with your classmate and state what you see -- namely, that they are constantly either belittling you or boasting about themselves. You feel like your friendship has deteriorated into a competition, and you don't want to compete. See if they back down. If not, start ignoring them. Move on.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an important presentation to give for my job -- one that I had to prepare a lot for and was nervous about. Unfortunately, I decided to work from home that day, but my Wi-Fi kept cutting in and out at the worst moments. I had to leave the meeting and rejoin multiple times, which completely disrupted the presentation and made me look unprofessional in front of a lot of my colleagues. Now I'm embarrassed and worried that my team thinks I was unprepared or careless even though it was out of my control. I keep replaying the presentation in my head and wondering if I should have gone into the office and found another solution. I also feel like all my hard work was overshadowed by a tech issue that I couldn't fix in the moment. My boss has not said anything to me, but I'm anxious about how this might impact his perception of me going forward. I'm normally very reliable, so this situation feels frustrating and irritating. How can I bring this up with my team and move past the embarrassment? -- Bad Connection
DEAR BAD CONNECTION: A poor Wi-Fi connection is something everyone understands -- even if it is irritating. Be proactive. Go in and apologize to your boss for the connection issues that compromised your presentation. Offer to avoid such a situation as best as possible by being in-office the next time you give a presentation.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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