ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a music festival, where I wore pasties instead of a top. While there, I actually ran into a group of co-workers, who all had a good laugh at seeing me in such a state of undress.

When I return to work, should I address the incident in any way, or should I pretend it never happened? Do I just laugh it off? I am pretty sure people will spread this story around the office, and it was obviously a bit embarrassing.

GENTLE READER: Let them have their laughs. Presumably you followed the festival directive: Scantily clad for maximum airflow.

Unless there are even more embarrassing photographs on social media, you need not submit your off-work life to their judgment. And if there are, Miss Manners suggests you delete them immediately.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am in the process of searching for a home for myself, my spouse and our young child. It will be a slight upgrade from the house we currently own, but we cannot afford anything large.

Many of the houses we view have three modest upstairs bedrooms, a kitchen and one large living/dining room downstairs. Thinking only of our own needs, we would be happy to turn the spare bedroom into a study and let the living/dining room be a playroom for our child. She can get a lot more use out of the floor space than we can as adults, especially during colder months.

I envision setting up an art table and art supply cabinet, various areas for pretend play, and a central dance area in this space. Any seating in this room would be appreciated only by those who enjoy being in the midst of kid activity.

If we were to set up our home this way, would it be rude for us to entertain guests (whether they come for a meal or merely to chat over tea) in our kitchen? Notice that I also do not have a dedicated spare bedroom in the above plan.

What rooms am I required by etiquette to have, even when square footage is limited?

GENTLE READER: This may come as a shock, but etiquette does not care how your house is laid out (or whether or not you have a guest room), only that you do your best to accommodate guests with seating and refreshments when they are there.

Therefore, Miss Manners condones entertaining in the kitchen and holding dance parties in the living room -- as well as the occasional chair made out of Legos for anyone who is up for it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've always wondered about this situation, which happens to me from time to time: Person A has finished their business in the restroom and opens the door, only to find Person B arriving to use the facilities.

Who has the "right of way" in this case -- the incoming person or the outgoing? Is there a proper etiquette?

Common sense tells me the incoming person probably has more of an urgent need, but maybe it's not proper to let them in before the outgoing person exits.

GENTLE READER: The person leaving the facilities is usually allowed to exit first. But if the other person's bathroom needs are that visibly urgent, Miss Manners suggests you get out of their way.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN