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Dear Annie: For years, I've been the person my family turns to whenever they need help. Now, after everything I've done for them, I'm the one they've turned against.

During the pandemic, my husband and I moved into my elderly parents' home to help care for my seriously ill mother. I'm a healthcare professional, and whenever she was hospitalized, I was there. I have two sisters who live nearby and a brother out of state, but most of the responsibility fell on me.

I've always been generous with my family, both emotionally and financially. I paid for my brother's family to visit my mother, cared for my sister's daughter for over a year when she struggled with mental illness, and cosigned car loans for a sister and niece. Both defaulted, leaving me with wage garnishments.

When I expressed my anger, my family turned on me. They've called me a drunk because I enjoy a drink in the evening, despite the fact that I work hard every day. One sister now refuses to let me see my grandson, and my parents seem to side with everyone but me.

Three months ago, I finally moved out. I haven't spoken to my family in six months, and surprisingly, I'm happier than I've been in years.

But I'm also deeply hurt. How did I go from being the person everyone depended on to the person everyone blames?

Annie, is it selfish to walk away from family when you've spent your whole life trying to help them? And how do I make peace with the fact that the people I've done the most for seem to appreciate me the least? -- Tired of Being Taken for Granted

Dear Tired: It is understandable that you feel hurt, especially because you have given your family so much support.

As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus taught, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." You cannot control how your family treats you, but you can choose how you respond. Sometimes that means lovingly stepping away from relationships that cause you pain. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you love your family any less. It simply means you're finally giving yourself the same kindness you've shown everyone else.

Don't feel guilty for finding some peace. You've spent years taking care of everyone else. It's time to show yourself that same kindness.

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.