Life Advice



Ask Amy: Brother-sister relationship turns threatening

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've been with my boyfriend for nine months. He is fantastic.

From the beginning, I knew his family was extremely important to him. One of his sisters died a few years ago and his family has struggled to recover.

His immediate and extended family are extremely close.

He lives with his sister and they are VERY close; closer than any siblings I know. They live together, are best friends, and are inseparable.

I love his sister, but have had run-ins with her because she doesn’t like the time he spends with me cutting into their time together.

I try very hard to be conscious of the time he wants/needs with family, but recently, it has felt threatening.


Last night at their place she told me that I shouldn't speak up or criticize his cousins or any other family members because, in her words, "You're not safe yet.”

When I got home and thought about it, that comment really hurt me.

I know that he loves me, but sometimes I feel like I have to stifle my own thoughts or comments out of fear that they won’t like me or approve of me.

Should I address this with my boyfriend? If so, how?


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