Life Advice



Ask Amy: The trouble with Mother’s (and Father’s) Day

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've come to increasingly view Mother's Day with sadness.

Another of these days has come and gone, and my husband staunchly believes that he need not even do so much as say, "Happy Mother's Day" to me.

He also doesn't remind our kids to acknowledge me, so for many years they have said nothing to me.

It's not that he forgets. We typically devote the day to visiting our own mothers. But when it comes to me, when I have asked him about his lack of acknowledgment, he shrugs and says, "You're not my mother."

Our friends have pointed out, "She's the mother of your children!" but he just brushes that off.

I'm not after candy or flowers, but just hearing some words from him like, "Thanks for being such a great mom to our kids" would send my heart soaring. But it never happens.


Even his mother usually sends me a card and gift, so she doesn't subscribe to his philosophy.

Am I being self-centered? Should I just focus on my mother and mother-in-law on Mother's Day, and quit moaning?

– Sad Mom

Dear Sad: Mother’s Day is intended as a day of appreciation and celebration, but also seems to sow a lot of sadness and confusion.


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