Ask Amy: Donor father now wants biological siblings to meet
Dear Amy: A few years back, I discovered that I had fathered an adult child resulting from my being a sperm donor decades ago.
This child was raised by a single mother and has no siblings.
This child sought me out because they “wanted more family.” We have become good friends and I treasure this relationship.
I have encouraged the adult child I raised (also a biological child) to meet their half-sibling but, although there has been sporadic texting, the adult child I raised has not made much effort to meet their half-sibling.
They are very close in age.
I don’t want my encouragement to be misinterpreted.
Should I discontinue encouraging these two to connect?
– New Father
Dear New Father: You should continue to encourage these two to connect, but your encouragement should be a soft-sell, understanding that these two adults have the right to face – and pace – the possibility of their own relationship in their own way.
You should relate to each of them as individuals, and be transparent and relaxed about your contact with each.