Life Advice



Ask Amy: Donor father now wants biological siblings to meet

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: A few years back, I discovered that I had fathered an adult child resulting from my being a sperm donor decades ago.

This child was raised by a single mother and has no siblings.

This child sought me out because they “wanted more family.” We have become good friends and I treasure this relationship.

I have encouraged the adult child I raised (also a biological child) to meet their half-sibling but, although there has been sporadic texting, the adult child I raised has not made much effort to meet their half-sibling.

They are very close in age.

I don’t want my encouragement to be misinterpreted.


Should I discontinue encouraging these two to connect?

– New Father

Dear New Father: You should continue to encourage these two to connect, but your encouragement should be a soft-sell, understanding that these two adults have the right to face – and pace – the possibility of their own relationship in their own way.

You should relate to each of them as individuals, and be transparent and relaxed about your contact with each.


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