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Ask Amy: Family wants to avoid in-laws’ drinking

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 19 years.

His brother is an alcoholic, which is a common theme in his family.

He has been unfaithful to his wife on numerous occasions.

At a family event (about six years ago), he made sexual advances toward me.

I told my husband that his brother makes me very uncomfortable and I do not want him around our kids with his level of drinking, but didn’t want to cause a huge family rift, as his wife had been put through so much already.

We are the more successful/healthy of all the siblings and are perceived as snobby.

 

We have kept our space for many years. We celebrate holidays without my in-laws, as they believe that we should just ignore these issues.

My husband recently decided to attend a family gathering (solo) and brought his brand-new sports car (which cost six figures).

His brother took the vehicle for a ride (drunk) without his permission. The brothers have not spoken since.

My mother-in-law is aware of these issues and spends every holiday with them and still invites us to their gatherings, despite knowing that we don’t want to attend.

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