Ask Amy: Grandmother wants to help granddaughter’s recovery
The National Alliance for Eating Disorders (Allianceforeatingdisorders.com) also offers a well-regarded virtual support group for family members and caregivers.
Dear Amy: My wife of 57 years had a lover in her youth.
I have asked her for some details about that affair, but she refuses to disclose anything.
Should I accept that stance on her part or should she comply with my request?
– Just the Facts!
Dear Just the Facts!: You don’t say why you are so curious about this very long-ago love affair – at this stage in your own life.
My reaction is that your wife is her own person. She has the right to disclose – or withhold – anything from her own past that precedes your relationship, unless this has a direct bearing on your own family (for instance, if she had a child by that relationship). This also applies to your own past, by the way.
In my opinion, your curiosity doesn’t qualify as a “need-to-know.”
If this has become a sticking point in your own relationship, then you will both have to reckon with it, thoughtfully talk it through, and make a conscious choice to move forward.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Stuck,” whose boyfriend’s daughter did not want him to pursue a new relationship after his wife had died.
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