Ask Amy: A widow can’t quite face FaceTime
Dear Amy: I am a widow. I’ve been in a relationship with “Bernie,” a widower, for nine years. We live quite a distance apart and trade off spending weekends together.
A few years ago, when Bernie established a FaceTime account, he included his late wife “Bernice’s” name on it so that when he FaceTimes with me, the notification comes in as from “BernieandBernice.”
I have asked him to change it, and his reply is that he cannot change it and that he still "cares about her.” Obviously, he does not want to change it.
I take issue with this. It’s as though he is including her in our personal and sometimes intimate conversations.
Bernie says I am too sensitive; I say he is IN-sensitive.
I feel it is disrespectful to me, and also to his late wife.
It hurts me terribly every time I receive a Facetime call from him. I have shed many tears because of this.
And, if he were to email or contact friends of mine through Facetime and the two names appeared this way, I would find it humiliating.
I have told only a few friends about this, who say they would never tolerate such insulting disregard.
What do you suggest?