Ask Amy: Customer trips over stylist tips
This happens in various situations, but probably most frequently in health care settings.
For the record, my husband (who has had gray hair since his late 30s), has not been addressed similarly.
I was raised in the South, and I know these endearments are common and made without thought regarding the effect on an older person.
I realize that I used this same condescending address a few years back to a patient while working in a nursing home.
I did not intend to demean my patient at all, in fact, I was fond of this patient and it slipped out.
There is no ill will behind these words, but it is humiliating and makes me feel as if I am becoming invisible.
Is there a way to speak up without causing embarrassment to the speaker in a way that may educate them about how many older people are made to feel when they are addressed this way?
– Retired Nurse
Dear Nurse: I hear from many women who feel exactly as you do. I’m wondering if any patient actually prefers to be addressed this way.
You are in a great position to reflect on this practice, certainly in a health-care setting.
...continued
