Life Advice



Ask Amy: Widow is caught in a ‘parent trap’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have never seen a question like this in any advice column.

I am a widow, and have been dating a widower for approximately six years.

We have a very happy relationship. We have helped each other tremendously over the years to heal from our losses.

The issue is my boyfriend’s daughter, “Marcia.” She is a 34-year-old nurse (I am also a nurse) and she has had a difficult time moving forward after the loss of her mother seven years ago.

I believe grief counseling would help her a lot, but I'm not sure she ever went.

She will not accept our relationship. I am invisible to her. She refuses to believe her father can find happiness with anyone other than her mother, and has verbalized this to others.


She told her father that she felt I was “replacing” her mother.

I wonder if seeing her father happy is a problem for her. (My children love him and are so glad to see me happy again.)

She has a very immature demeanor and has gotten pretty much whatever she wanted since she was very young.

My boyfriend said she will probably not change. He acknowledges that she is a very self-centered person.


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