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Ask Amy: A potential parent ponders the possibilities

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have three siblings. We're all very different. Two of us get along well with our father – and one sibling does not. We were all basically raised the same way. It's just a personality clash.

I'm at the age where most of my friends are having children, and my wife and I are considering having kids ourselves.

No one can predict the type of child they will get.

Sometimes I want children, and other times I think of myself arguing with a teenager and I'm terrified.

How can anyone know if they would be a good parent or if they would enjoy it?

– Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous: Parenting is a great leap into the unknown. You can never know in advance what your child’s temperament will be like, or what health issues might arise that could greatly refocus your life.

I do think that some people are simply oriented toward children. They see children as fascinating and try mightily to connect with them – even when the most obstreperous toddler throws a tantrum in their path.

Other adults only discover their capacities once they have children of their own.

Many people experience a genuine shift once they have children: A parent’s heart grows, compassion deepens, and their capacities expand in response to a child’s vulnerability. Plus, babies are entrancing, young children are hilarious, and adolescents fill your life with intrigue.

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