Ask Amy: Friendship falters on unsolicited advice
Dear Amy: I have been friends with "Susan" for over 35 years. I have shared many extremely sensitive and delicate problems with her.
She has taken on the role of giving me lots of personal advice.
In the past her advice was helpful, but in recent years, it has become more intrusive. A number of times I have started a conversation by saying, "I just want to tell you about this. No advice about it is needed, please."
She listens and then directly defies my request and insists on giving her advice no matter what.
This situation is causing me a great deal of emotional distress.
I purchased a new house and over a period of six to seven months I didn't tell her. Why? Because I wanted to make the important decisions about what home to purchase, what neighborhood I wanted to live in, etc., and I knew that at some point if I told her, she would find a way to influence my decision-making.
When I did finally tell her (after moving in), she was shocked.
She has also given me legal advice (she is not an attorney, but her husband is) that was downright inaccurate.
When I pointed this out, she brushed it off.
I haven’t talked to her in over nine months. Why? Because she advised me about an aspect of writing my will which was completely inaccurate. I became so exasperated that I felt like exploding inside.
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