Ask Amy: Husband’s tribute turns to tears
– Bereaved
Dear Bereaved: People who are more public with their social-media sharing should respect the privacy of others in their lives who have the right to control their own personal or private information.
Your husband should have shown you his tribute to your late mother in advance of posting it to his followers.
I maintain that the reason he did not run this past you in advance is because he didn’t want you to weigh in or to edit him. His writer’s ego was running the show. It was insensitive of him to make this particular choice.
All the same, the information you object to his sharing (your mother’s birth surname and married surname) would also be published in a death announcement in the newspaper, on the funeral home’s website, in an obituary, or in any number of online memorial tributes.
The contact from the alleged relative would have made its way to you, eventually.
Someone linking their family to your family through their own genealogical research does not make it a fact.
I suggest that because this contact came through your husband and you’re not interested in following up, you could leave the decision up to him on whether to forward it to your other family members.
If your other family members also object to his oversharing, he should hear it from them and face the personal consequences of his choice.
Dear Amy: I have a fear of driving with most of my friends.
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