Ask Amy: Wedding exclusion would continue estrangement
Dear Amy: I have begun the arduous task of compiling a guest list for my upcoming wedding.
While discussing this with my parents, I made it very clear that I was not going to invite my first cousin, “Anna.”
For background, my aunt (Anna’s mom) died of cancer in 2019. It was devastating for the family. It was especially hard for me as I took care of her as she got sick (something Anna did not do).
My uncle remarried 18 months later.
Anna is very angry at her father, and also blames our family for “choosing his side,” even though it’s not like we could stop him from remarrying.
For this reason, she has gone “no contact” with us. This was also devastating, as Anna is the only relative who lives anywhere near me, and we used to be close.
A few months ago, I attended the wedding of Anna’s sister. Anna was the maid of honor. She refused to acknowledge my presence or even say a word to ANY of the family.
My parents want me to invite Anna to keep alive the possibility of reconciliation.
They also just feel it’s the right thing to do, as we’re inviting the entire rest of the family, including her siblings.
Additionally, the family believes that she is struggling with bipolar disorder (her mother also suffered from this).
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