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Ask Amy: Spouse lives in a world of ‘no’s’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have a marriage question.

I have taken a sort of “vow of silence” around my husband of 40 years.

I am not giving him “the silent treatment.” I respond to questions, provide the occasional benign observation, and try to make statements of support.

He finds a way to contradict virtually anything I say.

I could observe trees swaying gently in the wind, say, “It seems breezy today,” and he would reply, “No, it isn’t. The wind velocity must be such and such degrees for it to be breezy.”

I would like to be able to communicate openly about that issue and other issues in our marriage. I’d like to be able to discuss my hopes and dreams.

 

I’d like to be able to share silly, fun thoughts and creative ideas.

But if I say almost anything, he replies “No, it isn’t…” or, “No, you don’t…” or “That’s not the right way to look at it.”

So, if I brought up my feeling that my husband often contradicts me, he most certainly would reply “No, I don’t!”

I feel that I live in a world of “NOs.”

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