Ask Amy: Cohabiting couple should mop up mess
If things “definitely need to change,” then you must establish this thoroughly before you commit to moving in.
This should not be delivered as an ultimatum, but as you stating a simple truth: “I’m not willing to live the way you live. It’s waaaaay too messy and dirty for me.”
He (not you) could offer suggestions for how to address this (get his act together, hire a cleaner, or perhaps even compensate you for cleaning), but until you stop dancing around and directly address this issue – the consequences flowing from your reluctance to be honest will be on you.
Dear Amy: My husband and I were invited to a friend’s house for a takeout dinner.
I asked what to bring and she asked for a bottle of wine and a dessert.
When we arrived with the dessert and two bottles of wine, she informed me that she wanted us to pay for our part of the takeout.
We have had them over for takeout before and never expected them to pay.
In the past when we had dinner at one of our houses, the person doing the inviting provides the main course, so I was shocked and didn’t know what to say.
We paid them for the food, but I am really disgusted that they treated us like this.
When she invited us for dinner, she should have told me that she wanted us to pay and we could have declined the invitation.
...continued
