ArcaMax

I want to spend the holidays with my mom. She may not have many of them left, but I don't want to leave someone I love alone on the holiday.

I've tried to talk to her about it, but she shuts down.

I don't know what to do. Can you offer any guidance?

– Two Directions

Dear Two Directions: The good thing about Christmas is that it really envelops a season, with at least two good opportunities to gather: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Many families split things down the middle during the holidays, and so if you want to be with your mom for Christmas dinner, then go there and enjoy yourself. “Steve” can either hang with your husband during the event, and – my preference – go to the movies.

If your husband chooses to hang behind with Steve and your mother doesn’t like it, that is a consequence of all of the choices all of you are making: Your choice to bring a partner into your marriage, your mother’s choice to reject him, and your husband’s choice to skip your mother’s dinner because he is aligning with Steve.

You can tell her, “My husband would have come, but we didn’t want to leave Steve alone on Christmas.”

Dear Amy: The pandemic interrupted and changed lots of businesses, especially restaurants.

Now that things seem to be returning to normal (more or less), I’m wondering how to respond when I’m at a restaurant and the service is slow, the food is cold, and the reason (excuse) is “staff shortages.”

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