Ask Amy: Mom wants smooth waters for ex-con son
He might say: “Grandma, I know I hurt you and Granddad. I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I’m a different person now, and I’m working hard to live a good life. You can help me by talking to me and by continuing to be a good example. I miss you!”
Be gentle with your mother. Ask her to describe her feelings about this, and patiently reassure her. Ask her, “What could he do to make you feel more comfortable?”
Dear Amy: My mom had a series of devastating strokes 17 years ago. Since then, she has been in and out of nursing homes and hospitals. My dad has severe arthritis in his knees and is awaiting surgery.
My brother and his wife are heavy drinkers. I try to avoid their obnoxious drunken shenanigans.
My brother has basically written all of us off. He initiates no contact with any of us on the false premise that we have abandoned him.
When I contacted him about mom's new nursing home and gave an update on our dad, my brother said he doesn't care anymore and abruptly ended the conversation.
My sister and I, along with our husbands, have been doing the heavy lifting regarding our parents’ home maintenance and our father’s care.
Not once has our brother offered to help. He also deleted all of us on his social media. His wife posts passive-aggressive comments. (I have since deleted her from my own “friends” list.)
Should I continue to try and give my brother updates, or should I just write him off – as he has done with us?
As their son, I still feel like he has a right to know what's going on with his parents.
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